Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
