She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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