Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
