and you said cock pushups were impossible
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
