ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
