im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
