there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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