So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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