Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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