Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
