dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
