I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
