I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my sisters under your porch take her home
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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