I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
