I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
