Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
His nipple licking is glorious
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