shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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