in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
