do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize