yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
