I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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