Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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