so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
