your parents love me but you hate me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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