left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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