you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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