i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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