nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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