Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
