I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do herpes really smell.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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