Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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