The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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