Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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