Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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