Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
