someone get that fucking seahorse.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
