i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
