Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
