my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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