I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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