Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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