I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
