Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
