we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
