I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
