yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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