The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
