last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize