I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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