Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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