ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
