Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
